PERSIAN GULF GOSSIP WRITER "SLYVIA" Vol I Number 1

Howls in the Persian Night

Hanky Panky in War Zones

Blister Hot What hunk Stealth Bomber pilot proposed to his long time girl friend by calling her on the radio just as he released his guided missiles over Kerkuk? Our sources say his girl friend is married to his commanding officer. The real war starts when he gets back stateside. Whoooooo.

Cool Item of the day Has that cute Brit Major in Basra who appeared on FOX and CNN got a girl friend? My sources say no

Bad BoySeen at the 101st Airborne Mess tent in very tight fatigues: Staff Sargent Steve Stunning looking for female reporters. Good luck Steve. Hear THAT much bigger might not be better for everyone.

Hot Hot Hot Overheard at the missile launching center aboard the USS Constitution: 3rd Class Petty Officer Annette Cardinalli flaunting her goods at Lt.. Homer Gonzales. He was daring her to write some pretty racy stuff on a missile. She told him to lean over her and write the stuff himself. My sources say she turned to face him while he wrote. Could that missile have been the one that ended up in Iran???? Naughty, naughty.

Courts Martial?? Rumor has it that a certain Special Forces Lance Corporal has been using his lance. Are "preggy tests" upcoming on Capt. Beverly LaFountaine????? We'll keep our ears open.

Don't Get Wounded We hear that four of the Marines wounded in the fragging incident are "totally pissed" that their hospital is staffed with male nurses. That's what "no gays in the military" does for you.

In Fins and Goggles We've heard that a yet to be identified Navy Seal with unusual endowments was seen prancing around Al Naseriyah in a too tight wet, and we mean very wet, suit. A couple of Burka babes followed him into a house there. Boys will be boys.

Filthy Dirty Funsie Last but decidedly not least: Reports that embedded reporter Niel "The Real Deal" Erikson was alone in a tank for four hours with a female tank commander who really showed him how to embed. The tank windows were so frosted they were delayed twenty minutes while the tank crew cleaned up. Come on kids, we're supposed to be liberating Iraq not libertining Iraq.

More Tomorrow. Kiss kiss