AS WAR APPROACHES REAL MEN NEED REAL FOOD

REAL MAN'S HAMBURGER Never feel cowardly again.
INGREDIENTS
buger (20%fat), vodka, beer, marijuanna (no stems), bread heel, whatever is left over.

1. Steal 2 pounds of 25% fat hamburger from the supermarket.

2. Flip off the store Security Guard on the way to your car. If he's a different race than you, utter a racial slur.

3. On the way home buy some beer and a half pint of vodka.

4. Pick up a slutty looking high school girl at a bus stop and take her home with you.
(a) Give her The IQ Test:
(a1) The Colors in a rainbow are red green and yellow. What are the colors in a rainbow?
(b) If gets two out of three or better dump her at the next bus stop and keep looking. You don't want bitches who can remember stuff.

5. When you get home give the girl a beer loaded up with vodka and let her watch Jerry Springer or Bugs Bunny cartoons on your TV.

6. Put a frying pan on the stove, turn it to high.

7. Rip open the burger.

8. Sprinkle it with marijuana (no stems or seeds or the high school girl will figure it out). Then work the pot into the meat.

9. Make a couple of patties then slam them real hard into the hot pan.

10. Ask the girl how she likes her burgers. Pay no attention to what she says, she's too stupid to know anything anyway.

11. Get out some bread and use the heels of the loaf as a bun so she will think she's actually there for the food.

12. When the smoke gets real thick, turn the burgers over.

13. Slap some mayo on the bread heels, then whatever kind of crap you have like onions, relish, pickles, whatever you want to get rid of, and throw it on there too.

14. Check to see if the girl is drunk yet. If she isn't you're going to have to give her the burger.

15. Now that the smoke is real think again, you turn off the stove, put a burger on the heels for her and deliver the goods.

16. Go back in the kitchen and scarf the remaining burger, chase it with some beer, and wait for the pot to kick in.

17. Go back in the TV room, and if there's no football game on, let her keep watching cartoons or Springer or some other scummy show while the vodka, beer, and pot kick in. Slip one of your porno tapes into your VCR and after a minute or two use your remote to start it up.

18. The night is still ahead......

IF YOU DOUBT THAT THIS RECIPE WORKS, CHECK THE FACTS: I USE IT.THREE ARRESTS AND NO CONVICTIONS