BLIX GETS NEW ASSIGNMENT Hans Blix, the renownd weapons hunter, has been nominated by the Bush Administration to find Global Warming. When queried regarding Blix's failure to find a 100 acre chemical plant in Iraq, Bush responded that if there is Global Warming, "then it's, you know, Global, like in really big. I mean bigger than 100 acres. Hans can't possibly miss that."

Meanwhile reports that Blix had been arrested in New York's Central Park hunting for the Statue of Liberty were unconfirmed.