3.31.2003

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THE ASSAD TRAVEL "MYSTICAL MARTYR TOUR"



The Assad Way to Syria, then Iraq.......

AND THEN.....

PARADISE

AND 70 DESPERATE SEX STARVED VIRGINS......

Assad Travel is the only authorized booking agent. Don't be fooled by imitators

Call and book your flight. That's how simple it is with Assad Travel

Here's what you get---- all at one low low price:

Fly from two cities in Canada, San Francisco (21 flights available), Seattle, New York, and Boston. Late model DC3s and state of the art converted B-29s will get you to your destination in luxury. Land in fun filled Damascus and spend two days and two nights where....

Famous folk artists will draw epic pictures of you in stone in various stages of exploding magnificence to be sent home to your relatives.

Feast on Syrian cuisine flown in from Tel Aviv's finest restaurant.

Dance to the absolute hottest Syrian rock band "Let's Kill Some Jews"

Dave, Syria's hippest Imam, will exhort you to kill.

Newly deflowered former virgins will wave to you continually from the street below your hotel windows

Before your Journey to Martyrdom you will be outfitted in a choice of suicide bomb wear designed by a galaxy of French Terrorist Haute Couture. John Galliano pants, Rive Gauche and Belenciaga shirts and jackets, and the actual bomber vests have been designed in stunning polyester by none other than our glorious leader, Bashar Assad himself. Your demise will be timed by Lalique watches specially designed in a gentle religious motif. Even your under garments will have the French touch of Aubade, Lejaby, and Chantelle designed to assure defication concealment should you lose your nerve when "your magic moment" arrives. There will be no embarrassing "brown stains" on your pants moments before you achieve glory.

Al Quada's top trainer will teach you how love is your primary motive..

You will be safely smuggled into Iraq by Mexican drivers with twenty years experience dodging U.S. Border Patrols. It is a well known fact that Americans have no technology that can see Mexican drivers.

All this for only $81.50 from San Francisco and $125 from everywhere else. Visa-MasterCard- Discover or American Express.
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