KOBE BRYANT TV ADS REWORKED FOR NEW IMAGE.
COMMERCIAL #1 THE BRYANT "SLUT HUNTER" SHOES:
KOBE MED SHOT
SMILING AND SHOWING PURPLE AND GOLD SHOE TO CAMERA "That white bitch would have gotten clean away if I wasn't wearin' these shoes.CUT TO: SMILING BLONDE SLUT
Shit. I would have been in the hall but he jumped over that bed like it waren't even there. Dam he was fine. Thank God he was wearin' them Slut Hunters. Nobody wants to spend they lives runnin' from hot sex.
Slut Hinters, wear ‘em in hotels and motels for the best in pussy.
SUPER GOLD LETTERING READING: KOBE BRYANT "SLUT HUNTERS" SHOES FOR THE TESTOSTERONE ENDOWED. WAITRESSES CAN'T RUN, CLERKS LAY DOWN AND WEEP, EVEN BAR GIRLS CAN'T ESCAPE.
FADE TO BLACK
COMMERCIAL #2 THE BRYANT "PUSSY SLAMMER" CLOTHING LINE
KOBE, MED. SHOT. Walking away from CAMERA dressed in the sharpest attire in the world. Approaches a sexy looking BABE from behind. She is dressed in tight garb. He grabs her by the ass. She turns on him angrily. He grabs her and throws her to the ground and jumps her.
CLOSE UP KOBE AND BABE
My God Sugar, you sure feel big under them fantastic looking pants. What are they called?
These be the Pussy Slammers, part of my startin' five line up of my very own Pussy Huntin' shoes, clothing, and on line attorney services.
Oh Kobe honey they look so good. Can you just do me without taking them off? I mean I am hot just feelin' the fabric.
That's what they're for, honey. Stain resistant and guaranteed not to show semen, blood, or DNA evidence after one washing.
DISSOLVE TO SMILING KOBE
You don't have to hit ‘em, push ‘em or even make a death threat. Pussy Hunters, what the real street dude wears for consensual ass kicking forceful sex.FADE TO BLACK
COMMERCIAL #3: "NO EVIDENCE"---THE DETERGENT FOR SEXUALLY ACTIVE MEN
TIGHT SHOT KOBE as he opens front door. PAN and FOLLOW as Kobe runs down the hall toward the washing machine room.
WIFE VOICE OFF CAMERA: Is ‘at you, Kobe honey?
KOBE: Yeah baby, it be me. I'll be right up.
CAMERA MOVE STOPS AS KOBE ENTERS WASH ROOM
.
WIDE SHOT KOBE. Washing machines visible. We see his clothes have stains all over the pants, there may be a blood stain or two on the shirt. He strips off his clothing as he yells to his wife.
I'll feed the baby too, sugar. Don't you worry your pretty little brain.He prominently holds a box of "NO EVIDENCE" and puts a small amount into the washer.
TO CAMERA After a little action in the back seat, or fightin' off bitches in your hotel room, a real man needs a powerful detergent. Powerful enough to get out DNA, semen, and even them tell tale blood stains. Me and all my brothers use NO EVIDENCE, the perfect answer to certain problems.
DISSOLVE TO
INT.POLICE STATION. KOBE AND COP
The COP is handing a bunch of folded clothes back to Kobe
Sorry Mr. Bryant. You're clothes are DNA, semen, and blood clean. You're free to go.
I know, but you ought to know how these white bitches lie.ANGLE ON KOBE
Kobe moves toward CAMERA a knowing smile on his face. He stops and leans forward.
Three arrests and no convictions. HOLDS UP DETERGENT No Evidence. The answer to White Justice.
FADE TO BLACK
posted by Howard @ 9:52 AM
<< Home