RECIPE-- REAL MAN'S HANBURGER

REAL MAN'S HAMBURGER

1. Steal 2 pounds of 25% fat hamburger from the supermarket.

2. Flip off the store Security Guard on the way to your car. If he's a memeber of a minoity hurl a racial slur.

3. On the way home buy some beer and a half pint of vodka.

4. Pick up a slutty looking high school girl at a bus stop and take her
home with you.

4A. On the way home give her the IQ Test.

Q: The colors of the rainbow are red green and yellow. What are the colors of the rainbow?
If she scores two out of three or better, dump her. You don't want babes that can remember things.

5. When you get home give the girl a beer loaded up with vodka and let her
watch Jerry Springer on your TV.

6. Put a frying pan on the stove, turn it to high.

7. Rip open the burger.

8. Sprinkle it with marijuana (no stems or seeds or the high school girl
will figure it out). Then work the pot into the meat.

9. Make a couple of patties then slam them real hard into the hot pan.

10. Ask the girl how she likes her burgers. Pay no attention to what she
says, she's too stupid to remember what she told you anyway.

11. Get out some bread and use the heels of the loaf as a bun so she will
think she's actually there for the food.

12. When the smoke gets real thick, turn the burgers over.

13. Slap some mayo on the bread heels, then whatever kind of crap you have
like onions, relish, pickles, whatever you want to get rid of, and throw it
on there too.

14. Check to see if the girl is drunk yet. If she isn't you're going to
have to give her the burger.

15. Now that the smoke is real think again, you turn off the stove, put a
burger on the heels for her and deliver the goods.

16. Go back in the kitchen and scarf the remaining burger, chase it with
some beer, and wait for the pot to kick in.

17. Go back in the TV room, and if there's no football game on, let her
watch some other scummy show while the vodka, beer, and pot kick in.

18. Slip one of your porno tapes into your VCR and after a minute or two,
use your remote to start it up.

18. The night is still ahead......

IF YOU DOUBT THAT THIS RECIPE WORKS, CHECK THE FACTS: THREE ARRESTS AND NO
CONVICTIONS