The Iraq Gazette

C L A S S I F I E D
FOR SALE: Two fresh Virgins recalled from Paradise due to lack of dead heroes.
79-671-4488 ask for Mullah Greenberg

FOR SALE: Four New WMDs. May need new rubber band power systems. Brand new paint job with stencil in Arabic and English on side: "Warning Anthrax on Board". Make Offer. 79-845- 3751, Mr. Blix

FOR RENT: Army. Cheap. Call: 79-773-2666 leave message on machine. AMEX, DISCOVER, MC, VISA. One week minimum. Very brave in spite of what you may hear.

WANTED: Pen Pal. Write Eric Rudolph, Mobile Jail, Mobile AL. Tell me about your lesbians.

HELP WANTED: Assistant brain surgeon and file clerk. Big tits and a nice ass a plus. Call 79- 552-4310 and ask for Uday. You must be at least twelve years old. Your call will be returned within one day.

HELP WANTED: Cold blooded assassin for interesting work around children. This is Jihad, Holy War, Paradise guaranteed stuff. Call 79-677-3998 from a pay phone allow to ring twice and then hang up. You will be called back. immediately.

LEGAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Imam Ali Kifhar il Muhammad and Shiek Ramses MMMXXVII Doing Business As The MidEast Stompers, a rap music group, music publishing company, and Muslim charity. Filed 5/30/2003.

GARAGE SALE: Precious heirlooms dating back to my ancestors 2,500 BC; includes hard core pornography from the time of Hamurabi: "Nile Sluts" (graphic alligator rape), "Oasis Gang Bang" (hot camel action) and "Anal Sphinx Bitches do Persia" (illustrated; women deficating in desert); also old Nazi gas chamber with instructions and a month supply of zyclon gas (Jews not included); 27116 Baath Bl. Sat starting at 9AM.