CAPTURED PRAIRIE DOG REVEALS AL QAEDA CONNECTION

(Madison WI June 9) A captured Prairie Dog named "Mel" owned by a local pre teen has been captured. "Mel" also known as Muhammed el Kaliffa de Rashkili was trained in Afghanistan and shipped in a crate to Racine Wisconsin and sold to a pet store. "Mel" volunteered to infect himself with Monkey Pox and spread it to everyone who came in contact with him. Mel learned from al Qaeda master Osama bin Ladin himself how to get that cute grin on his face so that unsuspecting Americans would grin back and then pet him, thus contracting the disease.

Prairie Dog psychic, George Clooney (No relation to the famous 50's pop singer) from Fargo North Dakota, "talked" with Mel when the animal grew lonely and depressed after three days in a maximum security animal shelter and just had to talk to someone he could trust. "Mel" hates Americans, hated his owner little Mary Jane Anderson, and planned on converting her to his Muslim faith but found terror opportunities first. Mel claims he is one of millions of Muslim ferrets, prairie dogs, and weasels who are ready to launch a massive terror attack.

"Monkey Pox is just a small start," says Mr. Clooney (no relation to the 50's pop singer). "They are carriers of rinderpest, a transboundary animal disease thought confined to cattle, but terrorist prairie dogs cuddled with the cattle and contracted the disease too. Worse, is the attempt to transmit syphilis and Aids, however the ferrets assigned the job have not been able to have sex with their human owners, SO FAR."

Clooney wants to warn all ferret, prairie dog and weasel owners not to fall for their cute smiles and cuddly looks designed to cause a sexual response in humans. No matter what, do not engage in sexual activity with the critters,"warns Clooney. Rumors persist in the gay and lesbian community about oral sex from a ferret being even better than anal from a gerbil.

"We will stop this terror attack in its tracks", said FBI agent J. Edmond Hoover (no relation to the famous vacuum cleaner).