TOP SECRET:

FYO

Subj: Using the Kowran as an instrument of torture.....

Rag heads, camel jockeys, Ayrabs, Burka Bitches, etc., go rabid if their bible, called the Kowran, gets insulted. The purpose of this memorandum is to set forth procedures for pissing these low life needle dicks off by using fresh methods of insulting their book.

These methods should be considered only after the usual methods of urinating on a Kowran for a week or so, defecating on many pages, wiping your ass with pages, having sex with one of the other guards on an open one, and so on. Once this memorandum has been read it is to be destroyed.

1. Using the mangiest mongrel dog you can find (not another Muslim prisoner), you will create a doggy dinner out of the Kowran. The dog will eat the Kowran in front of the prisoner. Suggested recipes include the following: Kowran and chili; Kowran al a mode (that’s with ice cream smeared all over the pages)—add chocolate syrup if you want the dog to really tear into it.

2. Kowran tampons to be used by some of our more slutty guards during that time of the month when the bitches bleed. Be sure you have them insert the pages while the prisoner watches. Women participating will be given ten day passes in Miami.

3. Kowran vibrating dildoes. This worked great in Pakistan; simply wrap a page or two around a vibrator and allow one of our “don’t ask don’t tell faggots” to insert same into his ass and have sex with himself. Fudge packers will be given a ten day pass to Miami.

4. When all else fails allow a pig (not one of our women, an animal pig) to eat a couple of Kowrans in front of the prisoner while some of the guards sing “America the Beautiful,” “Amazing Grace,” or a rousing version of “Just a Closer Walk with Thee.” This was working like a charm at Abu Grahaib before things were turned over to those Politically Correct wimps at the CIA.

Destroy Memo