RUMORS OF UGLY VIRGINS IN PARADISE CAUSED IRAQI ARMY DEFEAT???

"Yes" say Iraqi POWs. Visions of starving Ethiopian women as potential sex partners in Paradise infected the dreams of soldiers. "It would be like deflowering an arrow", said one former soldier

"We lost all motivation", said Kalid el Salaam ibbid Boner a Fedayeen Fanatic turned runaway. "I was willing to die for hot sex with Harem Bunnies but when I learned they were women nobody in Paradise would invade with their swelled poles of manhood I became a testosterone free zone."

Word that they were getting the "rejects" and the "K-Mart mark downs" spread like wildfire two days after the invasion. One vicious rumor suggested the Virgins were lesbians and would only be available for oral sex, a disgusting practice to Muslim men. "We were vomiting all over the American tanks," said one. "We couldn't fire our weapons. Have you ever seen what women look like down there? I became so depressed I wanted to live."

The Syrian terrorists were particularly affected. "When the American planes attacked, my beautiful penis wept", said one former rabid terrorist. "My underwear turned brown inside. I was going to die and be forced to insert my beautiful weapon into the loins of a swine. I am still weeping."

The entire Muslim world is now awaiting Fatwas from Muslim clerics in the Mid-East. What exactly do these virgins look like? is the question on the lips of every Muslim terrorist. Visions of elderly sex fiends with shriveled breasts and bad breath is not likely to motivate fighting men to die. Word that Hollywood anti-war movie stars may become available is the only good news terrorists have had in a month.

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