MISSING IRQI MUSEUM ARTIFACTS INDEXED
1. A May 1953 Mad Magazine in mint condition
2. Menu from the Tigress Hotel and Spa where Alexander the Great killed his waiter.
3. A clay statue of Ramadam a Dingdong dating to Darius the Great
4. Four gold statues of Heidi Fliess
5. The oldest known French surrender document circa 2700 B.C.
6. The oldest known vibrator; a priceless dead humming bird mummy. Ancient Iraqi women used to place a humming bird under their dresses and let the beating wings do the dirty work.
7. An NFL football signed by the 1974 Oakland Raiders.
8. The Rugeaters, a 2,500 year old cave drawing depicting the first lesbian encounter

MUSEUM OFFICIALS REFUSED FURTHER DOCUMENTATION.