7.11.2005


PART OF STONE'S FIRST TREATMENT TO HIS 9/11 MOVIE

Satire

Oliver Stone to write, produce, and direct a movie called 9/11. Before you get upset about all this, I managed to get my hands on several pages of Stone's preliminary “treatment” which I reproduce below.

Movie opens with a self satisfied Bush (Dennis Hopper, above left) the usual smirk all over his ugly face, getting off of a plane on his way to a school propaganda photo shoot. Music in background is the old Nazi hymn Horst Wessel Lied. (I want to use the actual music just to piss off the goddam Jews) This is a hell of a tune that could become a number one seller with the right MTV video. Nazis were terrific tunesmiths and it may gall some people to find this out.
Bush crawls into a limo and inside we see Karl Rove, (played by Elton John, left) who places a hand inside the president’s thigh and they lean together and talk. We do not hear what they say but John exposes a file with a picture of an oil well on it. They look at each other and smile seductively. Bush makes a gun with his finger pointed at John and pulls the imaginary trigger.

We see the inside of an airport as two hijackers ( Ben Aflek, Cedric the Entertainer, below) approach the boarding area for a flight to Los Angeles. Cedric places his carry on bag with wires hanging out of it on counter and does part of his nightclub routine for the Boarding Lady who giggles almost uncontrollably. It's important to show that these guys, while involved in some violence, were having the time of their lives. The waiting passengers give him a standing “O”.

We see Bush (Dennis Hopper) enter the school room with Secretary of State, Colin Powell(Mike Tyson, below left, in his screen debut) and start reading to the kids, many of whom obviously hate him as we can see because the tots give him the finger and stick their tongues out at him. Bush has a cop with him (Jackie Chan, who can break a few desks in half) who glares threateningly at the hostile children.

Inside a passenger plane that is in flight. Cedric suddenly pulls a huge bomb out of his bag while Aflek breaks his embrace with sexy stewardess (Ann Coulter, below left) kicks down the door to the pilot’s cabin. Inside we see the pilot (Brad Pitt) with the near naked stewardess (Jennifer Aniston). Aflek goes nuts, shoots the pilot and orders the now topless Anniston to fly the plane. We can intercut tit shots with the plane hitting the tower.

In the Cabin, Cedric does a comedy bit about crashing a plane into a sky scraper and the passengers laugh. We hear a shot from the pilot’s compartment...

Plane crashes into WTC.

We see a bunch of office workers, many wearing Nazi arm bands and they are crying as smoke fills the office. Pictures on walls of Adolph Eichman, Heinrich Himmler, Erwin Rommel and George Bush etc. show us who deserves to die.

Second plane crashes into WTC

Inside school where Bush has just stopped reading to kids. Elton John has entered and is frenching (Hopper) Bush in the ear. Bush stands with tears running down his face. Elton drags him off.

Inside Airforce One. Joining Hopper, Tyson, and John is the warmongering head of the Joint Chiefs (Jack Nicholson, left) who tells Bush to attack every helpless Arab in the Middle East. Elton nods in agreement. "And I wanna see towel head blood turn the sands red," says Nicholson. "I want to see women and children burning in the sand." Bush slowly nods his head. "It's the American thing to do," agrees an obviously sexually aroused Bush.

Then we cut to the heroic city workers who are rescuing the people who have been injured. Lots of shots of brave but exploited workers who risk their lives to save a bunch of Nazis and East European victims of the fire. Several cuts of the ungrateful European free loaders as they are carried to ambulances. Many "victims" are using cell phones to call their brokers and place stock sell orders while being wheeled to ambulances. I can make a deal with Verizon if the victims use their phones.

This is a good spot to put this chick I'm trying to fuck as the lead nurse or ambulance driver. I'll never get into her pants if I don't use her somewhere. If I have to let her say something I can toss in a prayer