12.10.2005

Iraqis have picked up on American country music, applied it to their own culture and are twanging and picking all over the country. Local bands and local singers sing in Arabic with a country twang probably picked up from Armed Forces Radio. Below are the latest hits according to sources inside Iraq.

The Iraq Top Ten

Sgt. Andrew McGhee of the 411th Engineer Combat Batallion says this is numero uno in his area:

If This is Where Civilization was Born How Come the Beer ain't Cold? -----
The Infidel Molesters of Basra

Lt. Shirley Andrews of the 2nd BN, 172nd Armor Rgt. stationed in an undisclosed but "God Dammed Camel filled garbage dump" area says she is hearing this one every time she is in town.

If Mohammad had Seen you Naked Baby, He'd a written a Different book----B.J. binAri and the Bedoin Drifters

Captain Art Marquis of the18th Airborne Corps Artillery stationed in "a different shithole every night," says this one is played everywhere and he's sick of it.... Heard it first in Falluja

I Killed Tortured and Raped but Now the Good Times is Done Gone
----The Palace Dirt Band

Both Sgt. Danny Davis and Corporal Dennis Maldanado of 278th Armored Cavalry REGT report that this one is actually being played on base.

Hello Mullah. Hello Fatwa. Here I am in camp Chilaqua
------Ali bin Sherman (solo)

Anonymous from "fuckin' III Corps which does all the heavy lifting..."

If Allah Didn't Want me to Drink he'd Close the Bars at Noon
----The Prayer Rugs

Colonel Niel Wingnut of The 29th Infantry Brigade swears he first heard this one just outside of Abu Grahib prison.

They Cut my Privates off in Prison but I can Still Bend Over for You
-------The Muslim Gay Men's Chorus

Staff Sgt. Gabe Elmendorf of the 155th Armored BDE currently cooling it in Qatar where plenty of Iraqis come down to peform, says this one is super big

It was Hard to be in Saddam's Prison When I Knowed you was Cheatin' with the Guards
-----Mullah Devine and the Shiftless Peasants

Literally the entire Task Force Olympia (I must have a hundred emails) says that this one is sweeping the desert like wild fire....

Yore Camel Smells Better Than them Stories You bin Tellin'
The Burka Bitches

Three guys from 1st Cavalry Division who are seeking transportation "to Communist China if that's what it takes," heard this one as they were under a truck drinking beer.

I Ain't Got Laid Since My Camel Died
Big Saddam and the Tigress Studs

And lastly Lt. General McComb of The 42nd Infantry Division says that every jerk in his command who has a guitar is playing this one....

Your Cell Phone's Workin' Big Man Why Ain't You?

-----Mosque Sluts