The Reagan CBS Special spoof has been moved due to the heavy traffic. It is now posted on the El Laffo Grande site, right here.
AT LAST
E-X-C-L-U-S-I-V-E
The Reagan docudrama scenes that
CBS WANTED you to see but were cut by the FASCIST Right
A full blown Gay bashing
Total Animal hating and cruelty
SHOCKING Child ABUSE
All right here at Oraculations
This material was secretly revealed to me by a woman whose income was slashed by the Hollywood Left when they found out she supported oil drilling in Alaska. This woman, who I will refer to here as MADAM X, this woman has a masters degree in accounting and an MBA, so you know she can read. Once her oil drilling preferences became known she found herself in a downward job spiral til she was reduced to doing part time janitorial work just to keep her medical benefits and pension. She moonlighted as the bookkeeper for Rush Limbaugh's drug dealers, and the accountant for a wrongly accused Hollywood Madam. It was while cleaning an upstairs office at CBS that she discovered the disgusting script deletions and passed them on to me. I now publish them as the next post below, complete with hand writen notes. Hope you enjoy-------All scenes are said by the producers to be true and more than three sources verified them.....
Information in this TRUE scene verified by the Butler, Mr. Ted Lance who is now an attorney for a Democratic Think Tank. He says he taped the scene. It purports to show the condition of Reagan as early as 1983
INT. LINCOLN BEDROOM. NANCY REAGAN.VERY TIGHT SHOT.
Talking secretively to someone, her eyes darting about making sure nobody is listening.
This rumor, this dispicable lie, has got to be stopped.CAMERA starts slow pull back to a MEDIUM SHOT of Nancy and the room. We see her sitting on Lincoln's bed next to her ASTROLOGER, a seedy looking middle aged woman wearing thick glasses. The Astrologer is just popping a couple of pills and chasing same with some vodka from a bottle. As CAMERA PULL BACK AND STOPS REVEALING a black MAN SERVANT bowing toward Nancy.
(Covering mouthpiece on phone)Now Rastus. I want.....
...my name is Ted, madam. Ted.
Ted, Rastus, Amos and Andy. Who cares? You listen to me. I know this is a lot to ask, but Ronnie...well the President lost a little control again. And would it be too much to ask if you would....clean
...again madam? The President shit on the bathroom floor again?
END OF SEGMENT
BEGIN NEXT SCENE
This scene was constructed from a conversation that Nancy Reagan had with her gardener in California last year. He says he taped the conversation. A second source is said to have been murdered. It shows the contempt both Reagans have for endangered species and fuel economy.
EXT.RURAL HIGHWAY. DAY.
MASTER SHOT.
Large gas guzzling SUV hurtling toward CAMERA
CUT TO:
ANGLE ON DRIVER'S SIDE.PRESIDENT REAGAN DRIVING.
The President has a fierce look on his face. We see Nancy smiling in the seat beside him.
CUT TO:
EXT.HIGHWAY.SUV
Approacing at at least 80 miles per hour. We see a little baby rabbit who looks exactly like Thumper in the movie "Bambi" trying to get accross the road. The SUV hits it.
INSERT.CLOSE SHOT.SLOW MOTION RABBIT
As it is hit by the wheel its guts explode and we hear a cry of animal anguish. Eyes popping out of its head featured.
CUT TO>
INT. SUV.REAGAN AND NANCY.
Howling and cheering.
Oh Ronnie, baby. You did it.
What's that? Two rabbits and Goddam baby deer?
...and that faggot. Don't forget that fucking faggot back in Bakersfield......
END SEGMENT
BEGINNING NEXT SCENE
INT.NICE RESTAURANT.ANGLE FEATURING NANCY.PRESIDENT IS VISIBLE IN FRAME.
CAMERA PULLS BACK slightly REVEALING A WAITER in the FRAME. Waiter has just taken a part of Nancy's order. He leans into the FRAME.
That's rack of lamb well done. And what about the vegetable?
(Leaning slightly toward the waiter and holding her hand to her face shielding her mouth from Ronnie) Oh, he'll have the same. Only rare.Nancy leans back slightly REVEALING Reagan wiping his nose with his sleeve.
END SEGMENT
NEXT SCENE
The treatment of his children rivals that of Joan Crawford, another Republican. A good argument for Federal employees to take over all facilities of this type.
INT.ENTRANCEWAY TO LOBBY
We see the YOUNG REAGAN (early thirties) dragging his eight year old LITTLE DAUGHTER through the entrance way and toward the CAMERA. Little Daughter is crying and trying to get away. A very young RONALD REAGAN won't let her. He has a tough look on his face.
But Daddy. Daddy. You can't put me in an orphanage. I'm your daughter.
You stopped being my daughter the second you told the housekeeper that your mother can't hold her drugs.ANOTHER ANGLE.
NURSE NANCY (actually the future Mrs. Reagan) enters the FRAME. Big tits, luscious lips, and an attitude. At first. Til she recognizes Reagan as a movie star.
Listen asshole. You can't put your own daughter into an orphanage....Oh my God. You're Ronald Reagan. The movie star? Ain't cha?
(still struggling with Little Daughter)Yes I am. Holy shit baby. You sure have a great set of tits. You play your cards right you could be a movie star.
I'm not an orphan. You can't put me in here. He's my....ANOTHER ANGLE
Nurse Nancy grabs the Little Daughter by the throat. Her other hand reaches toward REAGAN'S crotch. He begins to smile.
ANOTHER ANGLE.REAGAN YOUNG NANCY
We can hear the Little Daughter trying to speak in the BG as Nurse Nancy TURNS to Reagan so that her lips are close to his lips. Both are hot.
How long's she been a Communist?
I like your style honey.They kiss passionately. We hear poor Little Daughter struggling to speak in the BG.
Producer's hand written Note: If we could show just a touch of a possible future lesbian relationship between Nancy and the daughter the Republicans might lose a Southern state next time.
END OF SEGMENT.
A hand written note on this next scene signed by "Terry" (are we to presume Terry McAuliffe???) demands that this scene be retained, but admits there are "problems". The note in part: "Because the Goddam Jews are registering Republican they are causing problems with this scene. We could only wish the blacks would re-register, then maybe we could win a fucking election. At any rate, while we all feel that this is the key scene in the movie, one that shows Republicans and the Reagans hated Jews, Italian Americans, German Americans, Catholics, and even the USC Trojans, the now gutless DNC which is composed of Homosexuals, PETA people, Enviros, Labor people, and so on have caved to the Conservative Extreme Right. We all think the scene is brilliant. But I must admit that a few people might think it in questionable taste. But art, as we all know, is always in bad taste. Had this scene remained I feel we could have won the next three elections. (signed)
INT.INSERT."TRIUMPH OF THE WILL"
FX: Horst Wessel song is played throughout scene in the BG and movie plays throughout.
Leni Riefenstahl's Nazi propaganda film "Triumph of the Will" is being shown in black and white. The Horst Wessel song IS HEARD. We see Nazi Troops marching. The scene is thrilling. PULL BACK REVEALING NANCY and ASTROLOGER watching the film. Astrologer is smoking and drinking. Nancy is popping her usual valium and gin.
This is great. Those Hollywood Jews can't do scenes like this. Without the Germans there would be no Hollywood.ANGLE ON ASTROLOGER
We see her bloodshot eyes and vacant stare as she wistfully dreams out loud.
Yes. Von Stroheim, von Sternberg, Coppola....
ANOTHER ANGLE
Coppola isn't a fucking Kraut. He's a dago, a useless goddam greaseball Mafia loving wop.....
....He's German. His real name is von Coppleman. He had to change it because the stinking Hollywood Jews wouldn't hire a German. They think he's the nephew of Fellini. He's a client.OTHER ANGLES
Always FEATURING Nancy. We see images of the Nazi troops and Hitler playing across her face as she speaks. She has more and more authority and gets louder as scene goes along.
I'm thinking. Who did this thing? That Leni something or other, right? We could get her to do the Inauguration. Put in Boy Scouts and stuff and maybe the USC fight song instead of this piece of shit.
The Notre Dame song would be better. The Catholic assholes would go for it more.
Catholics. Shit. Wish the Nazis had a hard-on for them instead of the Jews. We'd all be better off. I'm thinking. I'll get Ronnie to go to that Nazi burial ground in Bitburg. You know, where all the SS guys are buried. And have him do a speech. We'll get that washed up Leni bitch to do a movie on that and he'll be seen all over the world.
He stupid enough to go to a Nazi graveyard?Nancy becomes more agitated and prowls the room. Music is louder and she is louder.
He's dumb enough. He'll do what I say. What I say. We will go to Bitburg.....Her right arm is extended in the air as the Nazi soldiers in the film march across her face.CUT TO:
EXT.BITBURG.DAY
VARIOUS ANGLES FEATURING REAGAN, NANCY
Reagan trots up the stairs to Nancy and kisses her on cheek.
You're late. What kept you?
You'll never believe it. Some whacked out old lady had 500 cameras lining our route and was trying to take pictures of me. I had her arrested. Let's go.....WIDE SHOT THEN ZOOM IN ON NANCY
She is stunned. MUSIC OVER: USC Fight Song
END SEGMENT
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This is a breakthough moment for Oraculations in that due to great reporting skills and hard work I have been able to break this story to all of you. Thanx for dropping by and tell your friends. Every day I get better than Drudge.